Broken

Well Fans, once again I wanted you to see who I picture when I write. I drew this so you could see this character from my mind. This is Remi Torrez, from my novel titled Broken.

 

Here is an excerpt from the book:
Remi stared at herself in the mirror. The image she saw was the one from a year ago. A girl, bruised, alone, and tormented, stared back at her.

 

You can read more on my website www.tanyachamain.com

 

 

 

 

Resentment

Resentment:  The feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Is it normal to be thankful, yet feel resentment toward other things in your life? I know that I am truly blessed to have my health, to have healthy children, to have a good job. These are things that I will never take for granted. But lately I find that I feel angry inside. I feel like I am fragmented, that I have put all of my eggs into the baskets of my responsibilities and not my dreams. But isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?

People often dissapoint me, and I find that no matter how hard I work to keep my life drama free and uncomplicated, I can’t seem to stop some of that from slipping through. How do I deal with it? I don’t. I won’t. I absolutely refuse to let any negativity impact me. I don’t like watching the news, and lately negative television shows hit my "no" list. I don’t even like discussing negative subjects. I just shut down and I know that really makes the people in my life frustrated. but it's the best I can do.

My feelings are not easily exhibited. I don’t let my anger and disappointment show like most other people do. I do most of my releasing through my writing and my art. I often let songs say how I feel for me. I'll listen to a song over and over if it reflects how I feel in the moment. Unfortunately, when I don’t get to do write or draw as often as I would like, it really eats me up inside.  That’s where the resentment grows and manifests inside of me.

The truth is, I just want to create. Not getting to put 100% of myself into doing this things has left me…resentful. I can’t help it, no matter what I do, that knot in my stomach twists at the thought of the time that I spend driving to work, and being at work. I could get so much done with my writing and art if I could spend that time focused on just these things.

But life is life, isn’t it? I have to continue to spend what time I can doing the things I love, because not doing them would devastate me. Someday, when the time is right and it is meant to be, I will get the opportunity to write and draw, not in my free time, but as my labor of love.

Did you ever wonder what happened to the victims? Their stories were all over the news; everyone was talking about it, the tragedy, and the unbelievable circumstances. Then, a few days go by, and everyone moves on with their lives, talking about new tragedies and new victims. What happened to them?

Well I decided I would write a book about a victim. About how she is struggling with life after tragedy strikes, and changes her life forever. She hasn’t forgotten about the tragedy, in fact it haunts her every minute of the day.  

I added the first Chapter to my latest piece to my website. The novel is called Broken. Check it out at www.tanyachamain.com.

Move On!

I have been an observer and a participant in the many debates this year’s presidential election has caused. As a woman, a mutlti-racial person, with mutli-racial children, and a husband who is also multi-racial, this election has caused many sparks to my emotions. Top that off with a house hold with different religious preferences and backgrounds, you would think we would be arguing all of the time.

This however, is not the case. I love the fact that we have such a diverse history, present, and future. T What would this world be like if it were not this way. Boring!!! What is lacking in this country, the country I love, but often find disappointing, is respect. Many people have little respect and tolerance for those who do not think, look, and act like them.   

Matt Taibbi - Modern Republicans "have so much of their own collective identity wrapped up in the belief that they're surrounded by free-loading, job-averse parasites who not only want to smoke weed and have recreational abortions all day long, but want hardworking white Christians like them to pay the tab," Taibbi wrote. "Their whole belief system...is inherently insulting to everyone outside the tent – and you can't win votes when you're calling people lazy, stoned moochers."

We had people trying to secede because their candidate lost. I am seeing unbelievable disrespect for the office of the President of the United States. It’s quite shocking and disheartening actually. The election is over, it was fair and the results are that President Obama, is President again. And so what, let him do his job, stop being so hateful and negative already. MOVE ON!

Unthinkable

Last weeks football practice was filled with the normal people and activities, but just on the otherside of the fence, there were police, FBI, CBI, and volunteer search teams combing the nieborhood, the school just 100 yeards away, and open space were anyone could get lost. But as these boys practiced, this activity that surrounded them on the other side of the fence weighed on their minds and hearts.

A child had gone missing, she was supposed to have gone to school one morning, but never made it. The community pulled together to find her, but after a week of hoping, all hope was lost, Jessica would never come home again.

Saturday came with so much pain and fear. A community broken, asking why. But this football team wanted to show their support the best way they knew how. All of their touchdown bucket money would be donated to Jessica's family. They wore stickers on their helmets in her memory, and the oposing team's coach lead a prayer of support.

In the aftermath, we will all fear for our children until the person who did this is brought to justice. We will all be suspiscious of anyone who looks out of place, of anyone who seems to linger around schools to long. We will hold our chilren close, and talk to them about how to deal with a stranger who may approach them. We will have to answer questions to scared children about evil people, answers we adults do not have.

My prayers go to Jessica's family.

Excuses

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

- Benjamin Franklin

I hear excuses all day long. It gets tiresome really. I can expect this from children, but in my case, I hear them from adults and most of all from adults in laedership positions. At what point does someone like this stop making excuses, decide to take action, work with what they have, put in extra effort, and get things done?

I wish I had the answer, because in truth, I figure it out. I figure out to how to get things done and I don’t have the staff, or the time, or the resources, but I have pride. It is my pride that makes me analyze a situation and come up with a way to do what I have to do, with the resources available.

I feel that respect is earned, and when it comes to work and commitment to do good work, I think having pride it the best motivator. It perplexes me to see others who have so little pride that they have excuses at the ready, before the conversation even begins. They bring nothing to the table except more reason to doubt their benefit of having a job at all.

The Law of Attraction

I have been on a journey.

The first path I have taken is one of peace, inside and out. I am working toward new habits. The first one is to “let things go”. I can’t fix or change everything, but I can deal with them the best that I can. I will not obsess over the things that I cannot control, but I can deal them the best way that I can. I will not let myself obsess over the outcomes of my decisions, mistakes, or the changes in my life, good or bad. I will deal them the best way that I can, I will be at peace with that.

The second path that I am taking is that of positive karma and energy. Obsession: Focusing on one thing to the point that it consumes you, to the point that you forget everything else. When you do this you give so much of your energy to whatever it is that you are obsessing over. If you obsess about your fears, you give your fears power. If you obsess about someone or something you hate, you feed that hate, making it manifest and devour you. If you obsess about what you do not have, you will not ever get it.

The third path that I am following is to “agree to disagree”. People have their opinions, their beliefs, their faults, and that is just the way it is. I have my own opinions, beliefs and faults. We can share these things in a positive forum, debate our differences, but in the end after we have pleaded our cases, after we have explained our own reasoning and rationale, and we are still not on the same page…we all must just agree to disagree.

My best friend Nataline is a healer of the soul. She is the owner of Strawberry Moon Energetics and Holistic HealingOwner, Strawberry Moon Energetics & Holistic Healing & Traditional Medicine and Traditional Medicine. I went to her, not as a best friend but as I client, a student searching for balance. I learned that I have to change the energy within myself, to gain the things, positive things that I desire in my life.

The law of attraction is simple really. You attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts and emotions will find a way to manifest and become real. So I am putting all of my energy into my dreams, into all dreams, for all of the people in my life, pulling all things positive outward and inward though me so that I can heal and be happy.

Blessed be.