Sunday, November 27, 2011


Inspiration. There’s a word. I am always looking for things that inspire me. Things that make my stomach tighten or that make me feel as if you have butterflies in it. Something that, when I look at the world is suddenly good again, something that leaves me in awe of its massive unexplainable beauty. These things are all around me, but I forget to look, or I do not have time to look.  

Still, I realized that I was missing something in my life, inspiration from things that make me feel alive. I drove to the Wahatoya’s recently, into Cuchara, into the San Isabel National Forest. The Wahatoya’s pulled me in and woke me up. These twin peaks sat in my back yard for my entire childhood unappreciated to say the least. As each year has passed, I find myself missing the mere the sight of them.

I see mountains everyday just as beautiful and grand as the Wahatoya’s but that gets tainted everyday that I have to drive east to work, away from the beauty and majestic landscape to the west. Away from the obvious miracles given to us by the Great Spirit and into the man made, cement colored, unnatural landscape to the east. It seriously depresses me sometimes.

The Wahatoya’s remind me of a simpler, more peaceful life. A life that I think everyone deserves - a kind of life that has been stripped away by the obsession for power and need for money. For most of us the mere need to survive drives us away from simplicity because we have to. We have to be involved and be part of the madness so that we can take care of our families. We are given no choice because money rules, without it - you starve, you fail, and you can’t survive.

So in truth I spend hours a day on the freeway, to get to a job that is stressful and uninspiring. But…it pays the bills and unfortunately that is all that matters when you have mouths to feed.  don't get me wrong, I like my job, I like most of the people there, but I realized that I don’t love it. I want to create and inspire others. To draw pictures and write stories. So I took a trip to a place that made me remember what I really wanted out of life…fulfillment, inspiration and the chance do something that I love from the very pit of my soul.   

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

New book I am working on...Teaser number 1

This is the start of a new book. I am working on a few of them, the ideas float in my head and I have to get them out. I hope that all of you enjoy this and want to see more. That's the idea after all. Enjoy!

Chapter One

      I stood atop the north facing ledge on the western peak of the Wahatoya’s watching and listening for any danger or trespassers. The day had been long. Storms continuously gathered on the mountains and it had rained for hours. I was at thirteen thousand feet elevation so even in the summer the air was frigid up here. I was tired, cold, very hungry, and my skin hurt as each rain drop hit it.
      If I shifted I would be warm but more likely tempted to leave to hunt and I couldn’t leave. We were on high alert and guarding the mountains was our highest priority right now. I wondered if I could partial shift. Human body, fur to keep me warm, sounded like the perfect combination.
     Usually I could get my fangs or claws of my alter form to appear on my human form but not my fur. This was usually my reaction to high emotion, not so much a controlled occurrence, it just happened. I knew it was possible, I had seen the elder shifters partially shift before. Like me it was usually by accident but still possible. Caleb and I had been trying to partial shift since the first time we both starting shifting. Neither of us had been very successful.
      I concentrated hard feeling the tingle of power flow through my body. I called to my spirit animal but still tried to keep it from taking over my body one hundred percent. It was hard and exhausting to allow it and fight it back at the same time.
     “Come on fur,” I said quietly to no one.
     I felt the sides and top of my head tingle. I lifted my cold stiff hands to feel around, I had no ears. I moved my fingers higher on my head and located fuzzy ears up there. I snorted. I must look like Cat Woman. At least my ears were warmer now. Excited about the breakthrough I tried again, concentrating hard but nothing more happened except my ears were back to normal again.
     “Come on,” I growled with frustration.
     No one heard me complain. I’d obviously been up here too long. I was talking to myself now. I took a deep breath. I was a shape shifter not a multiple personality case. Well maybe that’s not right either. Technically in animal form I was different then I was in human form, more intense and aggressive I was told. So I guess I do have multiple personalities in a sense.
     I tried to concentrate again and this time I felt my butt tingle. I strained my neck to look back and of course there it was, my tail whipping around mindlessly. I felt light headed from the magic so I decided to give up on the fur coat. My sister Kallista was supposed to come and relieve me soon anyway. I had been up here for ten hours a few more minutes in the cold rain wouldn’t hurt. I looked at my cell phone clock.
     “She better not be late,” I mumbled shivering violently.
      I backed up to lean against the stone wall of the ledge trying to get a break from the cold rain. Lightning flashed furiously lighting up the dark gray sky around me. From here I could see for miles in the distance despite the rain. Not far from these peaks the sun was shining bright making the valley and prairies almost too bright to look at. I growled. My friends were probably out there, having a good time.
     Crashing thunder made me glance to the west and in the distance I could see a dark spot within the murky gray clouds. The spot danced gracefully and as it drew near I realized it had wings and they were fighting against the wind and rain and surprisingly winning. The spot was a crow and as it flew closer I felt myself getting hot. My blood flowed to my face as anger made me forget my lack of comfort.
     The large crow landed and cawed circling comically on the ledge a few feet away from me. I moved closer to the cawing crow and knelt down beside him.
     “Would you please shift? I’m not in the mood,” I yelled irritably over the rain and thunder.
     The crow vibrated shimmering gold and silver until finally it tuned into a beautiful eighteen year old boy. I would have smiled with pleasure at the sight of him if I was not so angry. Caleb was laughing when his transformation was complete. His thick black hair draped over his shoulders and he hugged himself as he shivered. He frowned and looked around. He was shirtless and his golden brown skin showed goose bumps as the rain fell on him.
     “I should have worn a jacket. It’s colder than I thought up here,” he said.
     “You should have worn a shirt,” I said sarcastically.
     “I was swimming. I didn’t have time to go home and change.”
     “What are you doing here Caleb? Where is Kallista,” I asked.
     “She is going to be late I guess. I was asked to come on guard until she got here,” Caleb said as he moved toward the wall at the back of the ledge for cover.
     I screamed out of pure frustration, “She is unbelievable. She only has a four hour shift to do. I’ve been up here over ten hours! Just wait until I tell my father.”
     Caleb rubbed his arms still trying to warm himself as I turned on him glaring accusingly. He put his hands up defensively.
     “Hey Mia, don’t kill the messenger. Someone has to patrol and I knew you would be tired so I volunteered when Jasper called me. I’m trying to earn some brownie points with him so I couldn’t refuse when he asked me to do this favor for Kalli.”
     My jaw tightened and I clenched my fists cutting my palms with my claws. I could feel skin break and the burn that followed as blood dripped and stained the wet rock beneath me. Caleb rolled his eyes which definitely did not help my growing temper as I wavered between animal and human form.
     “Come on Mia, calm down. Look what you are doing to your hands.”
      Caleb walked to me grabbing my wrists and putting them to his chest so I would relax my hands. My claws retracted instantly with his touch. I looked at my hands on his chest as they warmed against him. Blood ran down his stomach and I felt him send healing energy through me. My hands tingled and the bleeding stopped. He smiled making his deep dimples deep.
     “I wanted to see you anyway. No one lets us be alone more than ten minutes anymore and I would’ve done anything to be alone with you,” Caleb added.
His sweet words had little effect on my frustrations with my sister.
     “Are you telling me that my father called you,” I asked through clinched teeth.
     “Both. First Kallista then Jasper. He called a few of us but I am the only one that agreed to come up to relieve you.”
    “What’s the problem now? Did Kalli break a nail or will the rain flatten her hair,” I said turning to stare angrily into the distance. My own brown hair dripping wet. The distant sun looked warm from under this mountain’s clouds making me angrier. The twin peaks made their own weather. They did not care that it was summer everywhere else.
     I didn’t want to take my frustrations out on Caleb. None of this had anything to do with him and he was only trying to help me. But my sister Kallista had been getting out of guard a lot more lately and it was driving me crazy. Add to the fact that the two of us had always been at odds anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister but I didn’t like her very much most of the time. She was selfish, spoiled, and whined way too much for my patience.
     I felt Caleb come closer. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close making our bodies meld together. I turned into him and faced him. His eyes were black and if you looked into them you could see they had silver flecks in them. When magic flowed through him the flecks of silver would sparkle making his eyes look like a little star filled night skies. I could get lost in his eyes.
     He kissed my forehead moving slowly to my earlobe, down my jaw line and to my neck. I giggled and his lips full and soft met mine. I let him kiss me a long time making the anger I felt for Kalli fade away into oblivion as the cold rain fell on us. I put my hands to the back of his neck pulling him closer and putting my fingers through his wet hair. He turned us and before I knew it my back was against the wall of the ledge.
     We kissed like we had never kissed before, mostly because I always shied away from him. This time I allowed my hands to drift along his shoulders and back lightly caressing every one of his perfectly formed muscles. He was absolutely breathtaking and I always found it impossible not to want to touch him but managed to refrain from doing so most of the time.
     When he finally pulled away both of us were breathing hard. I wasn’t cold anymore, in fact I was hot and I hoped he didn’t notice how much I enjoyed that kiss. He put his head on my shoulder and laughed.
     “What,” I asked pushing him away.
     He smiled mischievously making his Mario Lopez dimples deeper on each of his cheeks. Before I could complain he grabbed by hands in his and pulled me into a tight hug again. I let him hold me. Let him soothe my nerves like only he could do. I put my cheek to the center of his bare chest taking in his scent and listening to the rhythm of his heart. Nothing smelled as good as Caleb did to me. He smelled like the air after it rained on a spring day, green grass, and pine trees. When I allowed myself to let go of my inhibitions his presence filled my senses taking me to a place far away.
     “You make me crazy Miakoda. When I need you, I need you quickly. Even freezing rain on a lonely mountain top can’t keep me from the chance to kiss you like that,” he said into my ear.