Sunday, February 27, 2011

Teaser 2

Here is more of the encounter between my main character and the boy that she can’t help but be attracted to. Again, I wanted to get the reader to feel the desire that she both hated and liked. I wanted to get the idea across about how she struggled internally with what she was and what she wanted. I hope you like it.
“Why did you come here again,” I finally asked.
“Well, first because I wanted to see you, to see your amazing green eyes again. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I find you interesting,” he said.
I was surprised by his confidence; he was not at all embarrassed when he said all of this to me. Most boys could not say hello to me without blushing or stuttering.
Jesse continued, “I am impressed by the fact that you are a talented artist, a straight A student, and you don’t care about the stupid things that most teenage girls care about. I want to get to know you and you are avoiding me.” He looked at me more seriously. “So, you left me no choice but to come here to find you today.”
Jesse looked at me and waited for me to respond. I didn’t know what to say to him so I resigned to nodding. We both stood there in silence for a few minutes.
Finally I said, “Thanks. For…you know, being nice to me and letting me be nice to you.”
Jesse turned again and leaned his head back against the wall showing his neck. His jugular vein throbbed and I could smell his blood a little more than before. That made me swallow hard and I had to tell myself to calm down.
My throat didn’t burn with thirst but something else stirred inside of me. I had not fed yet so I was a little weaker than usual but I was not thirsty enough for this kind of reaction. It wasn’t thirst, it was different. I tried to focus again repeating to myself to calm down, but his neck, it was so enticing. I wanted to bite into his neck, taste his blood then lick and kiss the wound. How sordid was that. I focused on his necklace, a wolf pendant. He pulled himself out of the lean easily, turned around, than started backing up to look at the building that he was leaning on.
“This is where you live,” he asked.
I turned to look at it too. It looked like a store front.
“I live in part of it, I was hoping to open a gallery, but I most likely will not be here long enough so those plans are out the door. I want to go to college maybe do some traveling,” I said.
“Ambitious too,” Jesse said but he did not look at me. “Where are you parents,” he asked.
“Dead,” I said. “I have an aunt that has custody but she travels a lot.”
Jesse glanced at me. I could see that he wanted to learn more but I hoped he would not ask any more questions about my living situation. I needed to seem as normal as possible. I thought about reading his mind to see what he was thinking but I could not bring myself to do it. I liked him too much to invade his privacy.
“My dad died too,” he said and he turned to lean against the wall again.
He looked sad as he confided this to me. I guessed the death was recent by the look in his eyes.
“Sorry to hear that,” I said and decided to change the subject. “So did your family move here?”
“No, I am staying here with my aunt and uncle…Xavier’s parents,” he said.
“You and Xavier are cousins,” I asked quizzically.
Jesse smiled then said, “Yep. Xavier is upset that I came here to talk to you too.”
“Well don’t let me be the person that comes between you and your family,” I said quickly.
“He will get over it. I teased him about being to chicken to talk to you so it’s his fault not mine,” Jesse said and he laughed. “Besides, he has a girlfriend.”
That hunger for blood in me that lingered but was always was controllable started to grow. It was becoming more a need then craving now. I could hear Jesse’s heart beat making his blood pulse under his skin. I could smell that faint smell of forest still but more and more, I could smell his blood. I imagined how good it tasted, how warm it was. I wanted him, and the need was confusing.
I bent down to pick up my back pack. Jesse stopped laughing and stopped leaning on the wall. He looked concerned or unsure whether or not he upset me or said something wrong. I looked at him for a minute and tried to say this without hurting his feelings because I needed to get inside and away from him.
I wanted to walk up to him and to put my face to his neck. I wanted to smell him, get close. I wanted to feel his pulse in my mouth, to taste his blood as I touched him and he touched me. My attraction to him physically was making the possibility of tasting his blood more tempting. He could live through it and I could mesmerize him afterward. He would never know what happened, I thought.
I snapped out of my sordid thoughts shaking my head in disgust. “Look Jesse, it would not have mattered if Xavier talked to me. I am not looking to have a relationship with anyone. I have to concentrate on school and well…other stuff. My life is drama free and I like it that way,” I said.
I tossed my bag over my shoulder and started for the door that led to my apartment.
“So you are turning me down, breaking my heart,” he said and he smiled. “I just find you so exciting, so… fascinating, Rayne. I promise you there will never be drama between us.”
“I’m flattered by your…fascination with me but I just can’t do this right now. Besides you can’t promise things like that,” I said and I started to back away from him.
“Wait Rayne,” Jesse said. “What do I have to do? You make it hard for me to breathe when you’re around. The truth is I’ve never felt this way about anyone. It makes me sad to think that we can’t at least be friends. I just want to be friends. I want to get to know you, that’s all. I promise.”
He moved closer to me. So close that I could touch him without reaching. My mind started racing, a voice in my head started talking. Grab him, entrance him, put your lips to his neck and bite. You know he will like it and so will you. I felt dizzy and I turned away from him disgusted by this new desire. He was overwhelming, beautiful and most of all, he was uninvited.
I regained some control and looked at him. I smiled slightly and shrugged my shoulders.
“We’ll see what happens alright. I’ll see you on Monday,” I said and I walked away.

Downright disappointment...

So, I have been told and have read over and over again that it is harder to publish a book then to write one. I have to agree. I have to submit query letters on a daily basis and hope that an agent or publisher wants to take the time, to give me a chance. My first query letter to my dream agent did not go so well, to say the least.

This was the response I received…

Dear Author:

Thank you so much for sending the Xxxxxx Literary Agency your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. Rest assured that we do read every query letter carefully and, unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one "yes" to find the right match.

Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.

Not horrible right. Well on that day this is what I read, “You suck and your book probably does too.” I was so depressed and almost every part of me wanted to give up and tell the dream I have to publish to go straight to hell and leave me alone! But after a day or so of moping and feeling like I would eventually drown in the metaphorical rain that the cloud over my head dumped on me, I decided that I was being completely foolish.

I heard JK’s own Harry Potter did not get picked up day one. So based on this and that the publishers who turned her down must feel like complete fools I hope that one day someone, somewhere, will give me an opportunity. Until then I will continue to move forward.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Teaser...

So let me go back a few months or so... I say this because I really don't remember when I started writing my book. I just started and it flowed out of me like a wild fire on a hot day. I was consumed by it.

By the way, I've started on my next book and it takes place in Walsenburg. It's a much smaller book and for teens. Don't worry, I didn't use any real names!

Anyway, as you all know I started this dream late. Well “better late then never” I always say. Mrs. Hamilton (Now Lenzini) would be so proud. Once I realized that both my kids were at an age that I could actually do something for myself I jumped in and started swimming as hard and as fast as I could in the sea of my imagination.  

I pulled out old writings and ideas and started to look through all of them. I realized that I wrote a lot of poems and short stories as a kid. By the way, are all teen agers as depressing as I was? Anyway, I used some of these ideas in my current writings and right now I need more hours in a day. After work and for lunch I try to fit in as much writing as I can but it’s not enough at all. I have so many ideas!

Here is a teaser for all of my 2 followers of my completed book. It aimed at teens and young adults but I think everyone who likes fantasy will enjoy it.
This is a very small part of my book. Hope you like it….

I was watching the sidewalk as I walked and thought about what Shelly said. Just as I looked up, I saw Jesse leaning against the wall by the front entrance of my building. I stopped and looked around to see if he was alone. He was, thankfully.
Unbelievable, I thought and I shook my head at him. Jesse shrugged his shoulders and smiled that smile that gave me butterflies when he did it. Despite the butterflies, I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What are you doing here,” I asked as I approached.
He took a few steps closer to me and I could smell him instantly. My stomach tightened, he smelled so good and so comforting. He smelled like the air, trees, and earth after it rained. That was his inner smell. Outside he smelled like nice cologne mixed with the sweet smell of human blood that pulsed through his body. I swallowed hard and blocked the craving that smell brought with it.
“I noticed you’ve been avoiding me and I came to find out why,” he said.
“I’m…not avoiding you,” I said irritated and I stepped away from him.
Jesse wrinkled his brow. “It doesn’t seem like that to me,” he said sarcastically closing the space between us again.
“If you must know,” I said looking up to glare at him directly. He was taller than me. “I am avoiding the attention you brought me, not you.”
“What? That makes no sense,” he said and moved just a little bit closer to me.
His smell overwhelmed me. It made me feel safe. It made me feel desire. I swallowed hard; he seemed to have this power over me. No one has ever made me so nervous and so excited before.
I cleared my throat. “I was invisible before you came a long and started trying to have conversations and be friends with me,” I said.
I put down my back pack and crossed my arms defiantly. Mostly to create space between the two of us. He was taking my breath away, making my head feel fuzzy. I felt an ache inside my body as our energies touched.
“So, I want to be friends, who cares,” he said.
 Everyone cares. Haven’t you noticed that no one likes me? But they at least leave me alone so that’s fine with me,” I said.
Jesse stepped back a few steps from me and leaned his back against the wall. He was a very muscular. He crossed his arms and I had look to away before he saw the longing that I was trying to hide.. He was too attractive and I hated that I thought that about him. I hated that I wanted and liked to be around him. I hated that I imagined myself being held by those arms. I wanted to get closer to him, to feel the heat from his body on mine. His voice broke through my yearning.
“That’s not true, you are far from invisible,” he said and his smile widened. “Xavier likes you. A lot.”
I rolled my eyes at that comment. I could tell that my reaction pleased Jesse. The eyebrow above his right eye raised a little as he watched me and waited for me to comment on Xavier.
“He only stares. It annoys me to be honest. Besides he only makes the girls treat me worse. They are all so in love with him,” I sneered. “I mean, I show no interest in him at all and they still get all jealous and hateful. It’s ridiculous.”
Jesse shifted a little sideways so that he was looking at me but he remained leaning on the wall.
“So you don’t like Xavier,” he asked.
I looked at him and frowned. “No. I don’t like him. I don’t really even know him. I mean he seems nice enough and I would be friends with him but he never speaks to me. But no, I am not interested in Xavier,” I said.
“You do realize that it’s intimidation right,” he said.
“What’s intimidation,” I asked looking at Jesse again.
He looked at me more seriously. “You are. You are so beautiful that you intimidate everyone. All of them, the annoying girls and the obsessed boys. The girls deal by being mean and the boy’s just act like they don’t have a brain when you’re around,” Jesse said laughing.
“I can’t change how I look. I don’t bother anyone. Teenagers are weird these days,” I groaned.
I was saying this while I fought off a smile. He said I was beautiful and for some reason hearing him say it meant something to me. I have been told I was beautiful before. A lot of times actually, but when he said it, it made me happy.
So this is a part of my book where my main character encounters the boy she hates to love. I tried to capture a time and a feeling that all of us have experienced in our lives. You know, meeting that someone that gives you those confusing but good feelings for the first time ever. I hope it did that for you.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Attack of the Query Letter Butterflies

Well, I did it. I sent the query letter to the agency of my dreams. I have been following this agency for a very long time and I am so freaked out about it. First, I want them to say they want to read a few paragraphs of my manuscript. If I could just get them to read a few chapters, I truly think they would like it.

Second, I have to tell you. I have not felt this scared and insecure since I was a teenager. It’s awful, just like I remember, yet it’s even worse this time. This time it’s not about a boy, or a basketball game, or an algebra test. This time it’s about everything that means anything to me right now as far as my dreams go.

I am walking on a plank into the unknown. This has only happened to me twice before. When I left home at seventeen, and when I had my first child. I did not know what to expect in both situations but I moved forward with my head up. I will continue to do that even now with this brand new journey. It is here, in the world of writing and story telling, that I am utterly and completely still childlike. Eeek.

So I did it. I hit the send button and now I wait. I sure hope that these butterflies that are flying around in my stomach subside. Realistically, it could take a while to hear back from the agency and I don’t like burping up butterflies.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I wrote a what?

So I started writing a very long time ago. I wrote short stories, poetry, notes to friends, you know the usual. My favorite classes in high school and in college where of course, creative writing, art, and poetry. So what did I major in you ask, business with an emphasis of healthcare of course! What else? Guaranteed steady work...and it has been that. I have made a good career for myself, I support my family and don't hate what I am doing at all. It's a good career. 

But...what I really wanted and still want to do is to write and know create things. So badly that spent the past few years moping around because I wasn't doing these things. I mean I dabbled in writing and drawing for fun, you know, when I had time but still it was not satisfying.

I read a lot and that's what I did to fulfill my needs of creating. Finally, one day I said to myself, "Get this character and idea out of your head and on paper. Stop waiting for someone to magically make it happen for you." So I did. I wrote a novel. A vampire novel and I had two people in my target audience read it. They both loved it. I wasand am proud and excited that they loved the story. That they loved the characters and that they wanted more. More...

So now what? This is where I am. Lost. What do I do now? Well, I enrolled in a writing course to get more rounded and more "noticed" for short stories and articles. My teacher says I can tell a great story and enjoys them. That's all good but still, what about my book? It's sitting, waiting, wanting for a miracle to happen where it grows a cover and shows up on book shelves in book stores everywhere. Well that's crazy and the fact of the matter is, I have to make this happen..

So now I am trying to find a literary agent and I am freaking out. I don't even know if that’s what I should be doing but I have a feeling that I should try to get an expert to help me move forward. I'm going to write a query letter to an agent or ten, and I find this is so much more difficult then writing a novel. Go figure.

Wish me luck and I will keep you updated.